Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
