There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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