I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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