I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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