She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
