When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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