I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
