I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
