You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
