Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
