how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
