you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
