She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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