I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
