It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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