girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
