Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
