Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
