Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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