Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
