i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
