What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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