you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
