your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
