So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
