well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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