Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
