You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
