I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
