I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
