When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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