Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
