ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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