Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
