I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
