lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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