Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
