apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
