Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
