Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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