I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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