hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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