it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
only if we run a train.
done.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
