my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
