Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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