Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
