Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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