I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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