it hurts more in the daytime
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
