Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
