I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
