I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
