i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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