I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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